What A Great Weekend!!

It was a big bowling weekend for me this weekend. On Saturday I went to the sprouts first ball game of the year. They did great and had a good time. It is fun watching the little ones play ball. After the ball game, I packed up the car and headed to Michigan City for the Indiana Womens State Bowling Tournament. When I got to the hotel, my team was next door grabbing a bite to eat and a few drinks, so I joined them to par take as well. We relaxed for a bit before heading to the bowling alley to bowl the doubles and singles event. I threw very well in both doubles and singles. I even won $50 on top of that. Made my day. There was no cell reception in the alley, which made some people mad. I always turn my ringer off on my phone anyways. I missed my oldest calling me, and it was to late for me to call back. After we were done we made our way back to the hotel which was 20 miles away for that alley, then off to the casino it was for some of us. At 1am we were in the car heading back to the hotel which was only 3 miles away, looking for food along the way. At Rally's crossed our path so there was dinner.

6AM come up quickly for some of us, as we had to be at the other bowling alley by 8am to bowl the team event. Thank god that alley was only a few miles away. We got our team picture taken and the national anthem done and ready to warm up for the team event. After throwing 6 games a few hours ago, I knew I did not want to stick my fingers in the ball, let alone lift it up. Sure enough my ring finger was protesting a bit, and I did not know I was throwing a fifty pound ball as well....lol.....at least that is what it felt like.....lol. After struggling a bit the first game, I managed to throw very good games for me at least. I went in with a 142 average and I threw a 158 average for the 9 games I threw this weekend. So, I am very pleased with that. I think I placed really well in singles and should get some money back. That will be nice. I have to wait until next weekend when the tournament ends. It has been going on for a few months now.

I was whipped when I got home Sunday afternoon. I tried to call the sprouts when I got done bowling. They were eating lunch and he would have them call me back when they were done. I was ok with that, I just wanted to let the oldest know I got her message, but it was late when I was able to call her Saturday night. I dropped a couple of girls off on my way home because their ride was going to the casino afterwards and they did not want to go, so they hitched a ride with me. After grabbing a bite to eat and filling the car back up with gas, I called it an evening. Around 7:30pm I called the sprouts again, because they had not called me back. Their dad said that he would have them call me right back on the house phone, because I called his cell phone and he does not always get great reception on his cell phone at his house. The sprouts did finally call me and we chatted for a bit. They wanted to know if I was coming to get them tonight and I told them no they were staying with their dads tonight I will get them tomorrow. They always stay at his house on Sunday night of his weekend unless he is working on Sundays, then I will get them. I found out the real reason that he had them call me on the house phone was because he was not there he was out hunting. He had to call home to have them call me. Anyways the kids and I had a nice chat. I finally called it an evening, around 8pm.

I was glad I just had to get myself around this morning for work, I did not even want to get up I was still whipped from the weekend, but off I went so I could post this entry....lol.

I get to be the "mean" parent!!

Upon picking up the sprouts from their dads on Sunday, making my way through the information that I needed to give him but had to give to his wife because he was at work, she finally goes through her list of things to tell me. One, the oldest fell and cut the palm of her hand and she went on to explain how they treated the "injury", like that was a concern for me, their dad works in the medical field sometimes. Two, they were not sure if the youngest really had a headache on Saturday or was just playing them. THEY GOT PLAYED AGAINST. Sprout 1 Dad 0. Three, apparently there was some aggressive behavior and attitude at daycare on Friday from the youngest sprout, which this is the first time I am hearing of it. They have tried to deal with it this weekend and curb it some. They make sprout go to room for the evening, which means nothing to sprout. Anyways, some of the attitude involves language, which she tried to tell me that she has told their dad that he needs to watch what he says or he is going to end up in the principles office someday. I just told her "Good Luck with that". Four, as she is putting two chocolate bars in the pocket of the suitcase, she is explaining where they came from. Apparently the sprouts helped their dad on Saturday deliver some stuff. The guy is was delivering to bought the sprouts the candy bars, but for some reason they could not eat them, ALL WEEKEND. Now, I get to be the mean parent and tell them NO they can not have them right now either because it is almost bedtime, they can have them tomorrow. I could not tell if she told me that they do not or do allow the kids to have candy there. If you are not going to let them eat the candy soon do not buy it for them, or let some one else buy it for them. Granted, the sprouts are not big candy eaters, they do get candy now and then, but they do not live on it. The youngest was not very pleased when I said NO you have to wait until tomorrow. Got it on Saturday, could not have it all day Sunday, now has to wait another day. Does not go ever well with them. My shoulders are big enough for that. They are use to me telling them NO now. Now I know why I get all the candy sent home with them, which usually ends up getting tossed anyways.

Homework Assignment!?!

Friday night I had an appointment with my Venting Specialist (Counselor). She gave me homework to do, which I am not that keen on this assignment. She knows I will most likely do the assignment, which sucks from my end. :) She is usually right all the time, which I hate as well. She gets a kick out of it though. :)

The homework I have to do is on Forgiveness. You see I still have not really forgiven my former spouse for all of the infidelity, lies, and pain he has done to me over the 13yrs of marriage. It has been 2yrs since I filed for a divorce and 1 1/2yrs since it has been final, and I rather just remain angry about things, than to let them go and move on. WHY? (I hate that as a follow up question!!!! :) ) I have no idea why I keep the anger. Is it because I think he will get his way again like he always did? Is it because I am still holding out for an apology for all the hurt that I never did get? And if I did get one now, I would not believe that it has sincerity with it anyways.

Why is forgiving so hard to do? I think it is kind of like giving in, either way I lose. I know that is not what it is meant for. I have to be ok with forgiving him, and convincing myself that what he did was not ok, but it is ok for me to release to him from all the stuff that he did to me, i.e. the lies, hurt, and the adultery. Yeah right, I am going to get right on that.

In all reality, I will be working on it. It is about time to move a step up on the recovery ladder. To bad I have a slight fear of heights.....lol.

I think I got a Cavity!!!

This weekend I got alot done around the house. The sprouts were with their dad this weekend, first time since the first of the month. Saturday morning, I got up early and ran a few errands before going to go watch the youngest at ball practice. The oldest had "spring training" for summer ball at the school. I was going to watch practice because I thought that the coach would have the schedules to hand out, and I wanted to make sure that I got one. There is still a trust issue with former spouse and myself, in him getting me information when he gets it. Anyways, when I was running a few errands, he called me, but I missed the call so I called back and spoke to his wife, who is one of the reasons for the divorce. She told me that the "spring training" was in the morning not afternoon so sprout would not be at team practice, which I already knew that, and youngest was complaining of headache so wife was not going to take her to practice. My blood pressure rose a bit, as youngest is playing them with the headache. Score: Youngest 1 Dad 0. The wife tells me that they wanted to let me know that so I would not have to drive all that way to the practice. I call the coach of the team to see if he has schedules to hand out to today, he says he does, so I go anyways. He did not know the sprouts would not be there, of course not, that would mean their dad would have to think of someone other than himself in that case. (venting done there) I pick up the schedules and return back home. I did alot of work outside around the house. I am in the middle of repairing the yard, that has been in need of attention for years, slowly but surely it is coming along. I started to dismantle the 6 foot satellite dish that has been a lawn ornament for years, and I am tired of mowing around it, and hitting my head on it. A friend came over to help me lower it to the ground, where I could finish taking it apart. Now I just need to get my dad down to cut the pole off since it was cemented in then covered with dirt. I called the sprouts later in the afternoon. I could only talk to the oldest because the youngest was sleeping. She had a great time at her "sprint training". I told former spouse that the youngest played them this morning with the headache, he really did not have anything to say about it. On Sunday, I had my final bowling night for one league, then I had to go pick up the sprouts and bring them home. Normally they spend Sunday night of their dads weekend with him, but he had to work today, so when he works on Sundays I pick them up. This my favorite thing to do, pick up the sprouts when it is just his wife there. I would rather have a root canal done than interact with her, but I put on my fake smile and was polite about things. They never have the sprouts ready for me, even if I do call ahead of time, so I have to wait for them to get everything around. I had some stuff to give the her, since he was not there anyways, which is really a mute point, because he just hands it over to her anyways. I gave her the ball shirts and hats for them to use this weekend, since they will have the sprouts again, and their first game is Saturday. I gave her my money for the ball pictures which are going to be taken this weekend as well and I will be out of town this weekend. I gave her the receipt for the "spring training" that came home from school and did not make the suitcase this weekend. She told me about a cut on the oldest hand, and that the youngest was not very good at daycare on Friday, and wanted to know if the headache was real or not on saturday. I just smiled and answered all the questions politely and left. When I got in the car, I think I felt a cavity being formed from being to sugary sweet. I will admit that is really not me. Don't get me wrong, inside I am a very nice person and will bend over backwards for most anyone. I really do not like sugar coating things. I am slowly trying to change that as well, but it is hard to teach old dogs new tricks. I have intimidated people all my life, at least that is the way I come across to some people before I even have seen a word to them, I have no idea why that is, and I do not do that intentionally. I was not raised to be a mean or intimidating person. But I just hate sugar coating, (sucking up) to people that I think do not deserve it either.

Stainglass Cross

These I designed myself. I bought the beveled crosses that are in the center and then drew the pattern for the outside border. I made these for the other two people that were in my DivorceCare Class with me. I had no idea what colors they liked and was going to do a very light pink and clear glass when I came across the clear glass with a rainbow tint to it. It was perfect for what I wanted to accomplish with the pieces. Both pieces are the same with the exception of one having an additional lead border add to it, which makes it look bigger and heavier. Truthfully I ran out of time and did not put the additional border on the other one. They both turned out really well I think. The center cross measures 4" x 6 7/8" to give you an idea of the size of them.

Update/Difference from 2yrs ago

Yes, I am still around!!! :) I have survived a long spring break week. The kids and I went to Cabelas on Monday of Spring Break, it is and outfitters kind of store. They have live fish in streams and ponds that run through out the store. The kids got to help feed the fish. They also have lots of stuffed game through out the store as well. We stopped on the way home to visit the Easter bunny then on to grandmas house for the rest of the evening. I did not have any vacation to use per se so I had to go into work until 1 am while grandma watched the kids. I went back to spend the remaining evening/morning and grandmas when I was done working. LONG DAY! I went back to work my normal 8-5 hours on Tuesday. The kids went to their dads Tuesday night for his week night, I went to bowling at 6 then back to work until 1 again. On Wednesday I was back to work at 8 and worked to around 9pm, while my mom picked up the kids for me so I could work over again. I headed back to moms for the evening after work. On Thursday we all went to the Zoo and had a great time. The weather was beautiful, not a big crowd, the kids loved it. I had a divorce class later that evening, so the kids stayed with my mom while I was at class, and we spent the night there again. The next morning we got up and headed back to town for me to work normal hours again on Friday. It is a half hour drive one way to my moms house. A long spring break but a nice spring break for the kids. The kids father was leaving on vacation out of town on that Friday, for 2 weeks. I had to call him to get some information on some of the kids stuff that he signed them up for and I have to take them to. He apparently called the kids at daycare on his way out of town, on Friday. I am going on week 2 right now of having the kids without their father around. So far, they are doing pretty well with it. I was not sure how they would do. It has been stressful at times and trying to finish up my commitments this month has been a challenge, but has gone pretty well. I have a great daycare person, and she has helped me out quite a bit along with my parents. As far and the 2 years goes. It has almost been 2 years ago that I filed for a divorce. Nope I do not have any regrets about it now either. I have finally started to get back on track on alot of things. My office at work turned into a diaster area for those years, and that really annoyed me. I hated the clutter but just did not have what it took to fix it either. This year a customer came to visit, and that forced me to clean up a bit. I had stacks and stacks of papers to be entered into a database and filed. I have wittled that down by half, and yep I filed papers from 2 years ago. I am working now on the other half of the papers. Realistically it will take about 2 weeks to get done, but I will get it done now. I have had a couple of people say I seem more relaxed now and back to my old self. Doubt it is my exact old self, but I seem not to care about alot of little things anymore. I am better at getting to the stuff that really matters and letting the rest go.

What A Great Day It Was!!

Yesterday, was one of the best days I have had in a very long time! I got up early and was doing some work on the computer. I stumbled into my finances finally and realized that there was more money added to the account than usual from work. I ask the money people at work what is up with that, and was handed a note saying that some office people received an increased. Yeah! I was one of those people. Let me tell you I have been contemplating looking else where, it has been a struggle for me to stay here, I have not seen an increase since the towers came down on 9/11. The only reason I have stayed is because I have the flexibility to leave and take and pick up the kids for school and stuff like that. I have been working on stainglass projects to sell to make more money. So the increase is an answered prayer. The other great thing that happened was the youngest sprout had an appointment with the ear doctor to follow up on the infection she had a few weeks ago and to discuss removing the tubes that have been in there for 2 1/2 years. She has been ready to have them taken out. When she went into the room she told the nurse that she was getting them taken out today. Her ears were fine, so we discussed the options. 1. He try to pull them out there in the office. 2. We travel 40 miles to the big city and have it done at the hospital where he puts her out to pull them out. I was leaning for #1. We discuss it with the child who thinks she is ready. I had prepped her on the pain issue of it, of which the doctor said that she may not liked him ever again if he did it in the office. He was pretty sure he could grab the one but was not sure on the other. We all decided to try to have it done. He did what he thought was the hard one first, she gave a slight flinch, but no problems. She turned to the other side, nurse holding head of course, and he realizes that it is wax that he thought was going to be the easy part to grab, but he got ahold of it and out it came, with a bigger flinch from the 4yr. She really did not like the last one, I got the look of that hurt, but it is over, but it still hurt. She walked over to me and crawled on to my lap and snuggled right in. She did produce one tear, but survived it very well. She was all smiles when we left, they took her picture, and she got to keep the tubes. I was glad that he could do it in the office, a lot cheaper for me than the hospital visit would have been.

Another Week Gone By...

Another week has gone by, and a quarter of the year has almost passed us as well. Time sure does fly. I am glad to have the girls this weekend. I got a lot accomplished the last two weekends without them, but it is time to get back on schedule. Lots of things planned for this weekend and lots of traveling, but hopefully by Sunday night everyone will have had fun.

The girls have spring fever already, they are ready to be able to play outside all the time. They already have walks and bike rides planned. Of course it has been lightly snowing today. I am not really a spring person, but am looking forward to being outside with them as well.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

A Tough Decision!

In trying to square away the summer schedule between the girls father and myself, via email. I have decided to let his wife take care of the girls while he is at work. He works a rotating 24 hr shift for his main job. He owns his own business as well, when he feels like working that it is all his choice to do so there. I do not have a problem with her watching the girls, it is just a personal issue I have with her, and trying to get over it, is not something that is going to happen overnight right now. She being one of the reasons that I filed for a divorce, and that is all I am going to say! The decision was a tough one for me, but I have been contemplating it for awhile and praying about it as well, and I am confident it is the right decision right now. I will still get to see the girls one day a week and everyother weekend, and I will call them as well. I can even stop by daycare to see them at lunch if things are not going well with them. They are not to keen on the idea of not seeing mom all the time, but we have slowly been working on that. They still have their doubts but they will be fine, I think. Time will tell. There are still some more details that need to be finalized, but that I think is ready to go.

Stainglass Sunflower Lamp

This was my weekend creation! The glass part of the lamp is 8.5" x 11". This was my gift to the youth pastor and his wife for pastor appreciation month back in October. They finally decided on what they wanted.

I had the girls for the most part of the last three weeks, with their dad only having them one night each week, we switched weekends in there so that I could take the girls to a church function and he could have them on his birthday this past weekend. As much as I hate being without them, I was ready for a break. All my buttons had been broken by the time Thursday rolled around. I had decided last weekend that I was going to head to Hobby Lobby this past weekend to get some glass. One because they had it on sale at half off, can't pass that up, and two because I need to start to make more projects to sell for a little extra money in my pocket. Of course you have to spend money to make money.

I picked up the glass for this project, and some other colors that I did not have. I really did not intend to make this project this weekend, but I was on a roll so I jumped in. It was 10:30pm when I started it, and 5:00 am when I finished it. I took a few breaks in there, to change the laundry and the sermon on the computer. I was converting the church sermons so that they could be put online as well. Multitasking at it finest....lol. Those breaks however were not more than 10 minutes at a time, but I am glad I got it done. I grabbed a couple hours of sleep then was out the door by 8:30am Sunday morning for church with gift in hand.

They loved it!! I showed the other 2 pastors wives the project as well. One of them rode with me to look at glass and she helped me pick out the colors for this one. They were all amazed that it was done. Keeps me busy, and I enjoy doing it!

What a crappy day!

I started out the day pretty well. Got up and around this morning, went and picked up the sprout from daycare and dropped her off at school. She did not seem in a very cheery mood, I brushed it off as being with her dad last night and having to be up earlier than usual this morning. Off to work I go. The morning goes by quickly and I actually get a lot accomplished. Off to pick up the sprout from school. I go through the bookbag to see what went on for the day because I will not see them until Monday morning. I discover that there is no new reading book in there, so we go chat with the teacher and get a book to review because apparently there has been some problems with a couple of words. I am ok with that, the sprout has issues. Her issues are her mood more than anything, and I suspect lack of sleep as well to contribute to that. Not a battle worth getting into right now. As, I drop her back off at daycare I chat with the youngest sprout, who has discovered me there and wants to know if I am picking them up today. I have to tell them no it is dads weekend. She throws a little tantrum but gets over it and we chat a bit longer. I ask if her ear drops got sent today, because she had a really bad ear infection. The daycare lady says no she did not get them today. Now I have to decide to choose this battle or not. A dad with a somewhat medical background as part of his full time job, you would think medicine would be of an importance. I do not think I should have to explain to him how often to give the medicine when it is on the medicine itself. So I call his work to chat with him, my luck he is out for a bit. I decide to send an email to him, knowing that it will not get answered either, I am still waiting on answers I sent him days ago. He finally calls me and we talk about the medicine, I pretty much got the standard line of BS for his lack of being a father in my opinion, and we go our separate ways. Of course he had to go into lots of details on stuff I do not care about as opposed to what I really wanted to know. Like did you know she needed it three times a day. Were you running late again this morning because you had the girls and they were not cooperating with you like normal again, so that made you forget the medicine. No I get what his wife is going to do with the girls tonight and their plans for the weekend, which is nothing to write home about, but apparently I am suppose to be impressed by it. That didn't happen. The more the weekend gets here the more I look forward to it. Dealing with his BS all the time just gets draining. I am getting better at just letting it go, but it still is draining to do that.

Those Darn Teachers!!!

My 6yr is learning to read in Kindergarten and she loves it when she is in a good mood. Once in awhile she gets her pants in a bunch and has lots of excuses as to why she cannot read the assignment. I picked her up from school and asked her if she got a new book today. When she reads a book completely and correctly she gets to move on to a new book, and each book focus on a new word. Well her response was "NO, I didn't practice enough" which means she missed a word. So, we were discussing it and the importance of reading and everything. I get this response "All the teacher does is fill my head with words" Now, I am at a lost for words for that response.

Let the games begin!!!

My sprouts are 4yr and 6yr. The 4yr is the type that everything seems to come natural to her, and her mind is going a mile a minute, there is nothing that escapes her thought process. Example: they were playing and dressing up some what like princesses queens, some kind or royalty, when the 4yr comes from the other room with scissors in one hand, held wrong but still functional to her, and tissue in the other hand, that had been attacked by the scissors. She climbs up into my lap and says, "We can cut the tissue and make a crown!" I said, "Yes, we can, but we are not going to" then I get, "We can use tape and staples, too." She did not miss a beat with that one and off she went. Life is never boring with her around, and there is always this smile from her, like how can you resist this smile.

Anyways, they had a pine wood race at church yesterday for their Wednesday night church group. My dad cut out the cars for them, and assembled them. The girls colored them with markers and I added the weight to them to finish them off. So we all head to the church gym yesterday afternoon. My parents and younger sister went because I had to leave before it was going to be over. I was there long enough to see the youngest age group race. She took first place out of seven cars in her age group. There were 31 cars all together. They did not hand out awards in the different age groups, just overall. The 4yr was kind of excited she really did not know what happen. To back up a minute we had to have the, "We are here to have fun" chat in the car on the way to church. Which was not going well, the 6yr had set in her mind that she was going to win and she was getting a trophy. Now, the 6yr category is racing and I saw her first heat, her car won. Life is good so far I have to leave now. On my way I am thinking life is not going to be good if the 4yr gets trophies and the 6yr does not get one. The 4yr is going to go, "I got a trophy" to her sister, and that will set a fuse or two off. Well, when I finally catch up with them when it is all over, the 6yr got 2nd place in her age division. There were 3 divisions, and the top three in each division went against each other for the top 9 places. Here is where things got harry. The 4yr came in 3rd overall, we get a big trophy for that, the 6yr came in 5th and gets a ribbon. All participants got a participation trophy. Yes, tears were shed, and about 5 more years of that competition to go through. Someday, the only here to have fun will set in I hope. In the end they did have fun, and I am glad their cars did well.

Feeling better finally

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I finally ate solid food again last night. I have not been able to eat that much up til then. I finally woke up this morning without a tension like headache which is a good sign. I am on my last day of meds today which is an even better sign. I have to take a snack with one of the meds of life is ugly for awhile, and a few crackers does not cut it. A snack is a peanut butter sandwhich or a half of sleeve of crackers. Great choices when you do not feel like eating at all. I do not have that big of a cough as lots of others do which is good, and I do not think the kids got what I had which is even better. So here is hoping for a good weekend with the kids. They have a church activity on sunday night with their wed. night kids program, and are looking forward to it. Hope everyone gets well, quickly, my doctor told me that what I had, makes you feel like you have the worse cold you ever have had in your life. It is not bad if it has been caught in the first 48hours. I caught mine in the first 24 hrs, and the next 24 hours weren't that special either. But, life is getting back to normal now, finally.

Bellybutton Issue!

Last Saturday, I had the sprouts for my weekend, and they were eating breakfast when I went to the bedroom to get dressed. All of the sudden there is a knock on the door and the oldest is telling me that her sister has pulled her bellybutton out. Now, I am a little mad only because I have things I need to get done today and they have been stalling all morning long. I ask is she bleeding, because I can hear no crying going on at this point, "No". Is your breakfast gone? "NO" Go eat your breakfast and I will deal with it in a few minutes, "But Mom!" No, go eat your breakfast. Finally, I go out to the kitchen and there is the 4yr with this evil grin on her face smiling at me and saying "Good Morning, Mom". You have to understand, my mom says that the 4yr came into this world with her halo slightly tilted about 1 degree. She does have the beat of her own drum. So, I ask her, "Did you pull your bellybutton out?" She proudly displays her belly to me and says "YEEES". Sure enough it is sticking out, and now she wants me to put it back in for her. I asked why she did it? "Because it was bothering me!" I have no response to that. She went a couple of days with it out, and I am not sure if it went back in by itself or her dad helped it after I told him not to bother with it, not an argument I am going to get in with him. So, if your belly button is full of lint and bothering you, try an outy bellybutton for awhile.

Attention Princesses!!!

This past weekend when I was feeling just fine, my mom and I took the sprouts to get new spring boots for them. You know the kind you can wear in the mud and hose off afterwards. Since it has been such a "great winter" NOT, they like to play outside if they can whether the ground is soft or not. So, after we try on our fashionable boots and walk up and down the entire length of the shoe isle to make sure these are the ones we really want, we head to other parts of the store to add to our bill. My outspoken 4yr has by now apparently eaten something that has given her extra air in her system. Thanks to the genes from her father she has no problem releasing the that air ANYWHERE, and announcing she has done so, as well. She while walking through the store, I hear out of the 4yr "MOM, DO PRINCESSES TOOT?" After trying not to laugh in front of her, I calmly say, probably if she has eaten what ever you have, she probably does. Now, I am in a debate with my 4yr and losing over whether princesses toot. Any princesses out there they can clear things up, please feel free to respond back. Reasoning with a 4yr is not easy when trying not to laugh at their responses at the same time.

The Crud Bug!

Well, it looks like most everyone has been getting over the nice little bug that has been going around, me included. This is the first I have felt like being out of bed in a few days. Mine came on all of the sudden Sunday night. I went to the doctor Monday morning, use to be I would wait it out, but with being a single mom with two kids now, I do not wait it out anymore, and it sounds like that was a good idea, because my doctor said that if it is caught in the first 48 hours it is not as bad. He did say that it would feel like the worse cold you have ever had in your live. True so far. My body feels like I have been taken outback to the woodshed and had the crap beat out of me. The doctors office said does it feel like you have been hit and left for roadkill? That too. So far the girls do no have it, which is good. I had to cancel my counseling appointment on Monday, which I was looking forward to but good thing I bailed on it, things were not coming up roses by the time the appointment got here, if you know what I mean. I called my mom to she if she could come over and help me with the girls that evening, which she did, it is a half hour drive for her. I was feeling better after she got here. I actually took in substance and kept it in that night so life was getting better. Tylenol is my friend right now for my body aches, not liking the snack I have to take before the medicine can be taken. To time consuming for me, and my throat does not like it either. I am slowly getting away from the clear liquid diet that seems to be working with this crud. My two favorite diets, the sickness diet and the divorce diet, both work well, but I do not recommend either one of them. Well off to work, I have a couple of post to put up maybe later today or tonight. A preview, "Do Princesses Toot" inquiring 4yr wants to know that, and "Mom, Sissy pulled her bellybutton out" Yep, the 4yr has an outty now, who would have guessed it.

All is quiet on the Home Front!

I finally have time to post today! The last week has just been a whirlwind, seems like. Last week at work, an email announces the visit of a customer for this week. Great, now I have to clean my office, which looks like a tornando has been through it, since I am a one woman show. But not to panic I can get it done by the time they get here. So, friday night I work over a bit and get a little bit done.

The weekend was filled with much needed catch up at home and at my parents house, but first I had to bowl in the local city tournament on saturday morning, so that cut into most of my day. I bowled terribly and after 6 games in a row, my hand and middle finger tip were ready to fall off. I called the girls saturday night, of course they were at his mom house for the weekend, because their dad had to go spend time with his step-son and his wife. So I had to talk to the former mother-in-law which is more annoying now than it was before. My 6yr now realizes that dad does not take them everywhere that he goes, but mom does take them everywhere she goes. I just kind of blew that off, but reality is she is right.

I went to church sunday morning, was a very good service, another 2x4 moment from god. He always knows when to send a message to you, and at just the right time. I cleaned my parents house after church, my mom cannot do it anymore, she was in a car accident when I was like 1 or 2 and has only a partial knew cap so she cannot bend down to do alot of things, and she shattered her elbow a couple of years ago, so she really cannot push the vacuum very easily, so I clean for her, it goes towards paying off a loan I have with them anyways. After cleaning I head back home to bowl 3 more games in league. That was interesting since my finger was stil very tender from the 6 game the day before. Putting my finger in my ball was extremely painfull let alone bring it back and release it. I fought through the three games and crashed for the rest of the evening. I never did get my average on any of the 9 games I threw over the weekend. The former spouse calls me at 9:30pm Sunday night to ask me about the youngest ear still draining. Well, I am a little irritated now, one of the time of night to ask me about it, and 2 from the sounds of it, it was like that all weekend and I am just now finding out because he was gone all weekend and his mom did not call him, because they all have communication issues. We had a nice conversation, I was not mean or anything, I told him it was like that when she went to the doctor the weeke before, and what I did to clean it out and that it was not draining by the time they had to go to his house. Well he had some of the stuff, but no cotton balls, and apparently had no idea how to substitute for them. Being in the medical field that he is, I would have thought a gauge pad would work, but I was not going to go there. He was ok with the conversation, and we even talked about some up coming date switching for the girls.

I stopped by his work monday morning on my way to work to talk to him more about the sprouts ear. Again it was a pleasant encounter. I called him later because I found out that the girls did not have either their gloves or hats with them, one had one part and the other had the other part. Of course I get the we were running late this morning and did not have time to get everything it is probably at the house, will get it to you tomorrow when he has them for his week night. I was ok with that, not putting up an argument over it, it is not worth it anymore.

Tuesday, after going back and forth from work and school duty to drop off and pick up from kindergarten, I rush around to finish up stuff, because hey I still have to clean my office for tomorrows visit. At 3:30pm I ask the VP what time the visitors will be here and he says around 10:30 or so. Great plenty of time for me to also come in early and finish up what I do not get done in the last hour and a half. He asks me if the lab which is just outside of my office is cleaned up. I look at him with the deer in the headlights look, like I can't believe he just asked me that because he knows that guy is never in there, the only time he is, is to make it more cluttered. I tell him, nope he has not been up there all day, the VP got right up from his chair and went to the guys boss, and within 5 minutes there were 5 people in the lab only one was a girl. I kid you not it took all 5, 1 1/2 hours to clean that room. I started in on my office was in no big hurry, just worked my way around to the other side. After work I had to bowl again for another league, interesting night with my finger, but alot better. My finger is doing better now as well, and I do not have to bowl until Tuesday again so I should be good to go now.

Wed. morning I came into work and finished cleaning my office, which I am glad it was driving me crazy, now I feel like a civilized worker. Maybe I will actually get work done now. People come in and wonder were the engineering department went the office is so clean. All that work and they did not even tour the lab area. After work I took the girls to church, while they are at the kids program I put in the music for sundays service into the computer. I happen to get done in time this week to go done and see the awards handed out for this week, and my oldest got the most points for the month for her age group. She was so excited, and had a big smile on her face. Made my week.

Yesterday was just as hectic, I was in and out of work all day, doing school duty, then the girls had appointments at 1pm then back to work, after work we headed to my grandmas because I had a divorce class to go to, and my moms plans changed at the last minute so I am scrambling to get the girls taken care of. Finally the weekend is here and I have nothing planned. What will I do?

A futile attempt at a poem!!

It has been awhile since I posted. After making it through the day yesterday and being bored today at work. Actually I have lots to do, I just do not feel like doing it anymore. Burnout has set it. Being swamped all the time with no help for the little tasks, my office is a paper diaster and a half and I hate it. I am normally an organized person, and with no time to keep organized here is just driving me nuts. I no longer have a desire to do my job anymore. I dredge through the day and get what needs to be done and that is it. I have no more to give. Unfortunately I hate the way the office is now, so I still work to get extra stuff done, but just seems stuff comes in faster than goes out. Anyways, in my non-working mood I wrote down some random thought and kind of turned it into something...lol.

I have not titled it. Maybe you can suggest a title. A side not check out the phrase of the first letter of each line. That was not a coincendance.

Giving all you have to give

Opening up your heart, only to be

Disappointed. Realizing, it is over

Surrendering all

Looking towards the sky

Often wondering if you are heard

Verification received

Exult in his devotion to you

Can You Believe This!!

It has been awhile since I have posted. I have somewhat cooled off from the email wars I had had with my former spouse's spouse. Life has been moving along, I hope it picks up the pace soon though. I have been attending a weekly divorce class, that has been very good so far. I have my taxes done. Now I can start planning ahead for this year.

After having a few choice emails go out to the significant other of my former spouse a few weeks ago, I decided today to send her an email. My motives were nice and simple. I choose to send her the email instead of my former spouse, because one I knew it would get read today in a timely manner, and two it was kind of time sensitive anyways. I sent her the bible versus the kids need to say tomorrow night at their church program. The kids have swim lessons tonight and he is taking them because it is his week night to have the kids. The kids get bored waiting for the other to get done with their lessons, so I thought this could be something they could do while waiting. I asked the kids today if they would mind me doing that, and they didn't mind. I got a nice email back from her saying "thanks" and that was a good idea for the kids....duh. Sorry still have a little anger and bitterness left in me....but it is getting better. Small steps are better than not steps I guess.

A 2 x 4 up side the head moment from God!! The verse for one of the kids, the youngest who is 4yr, is 1 John 3:11 ....we should love one another. Think there is a message there for me?

We will just have to wait and see how things go later on. Right now I still have no desire to talk to him or her for that matter if at all possible, but nothing is ever for certain in this world.