ME, ME, ME, or lack of technology?

In my opinion most of the people in this day and age that work with computers on a regular basis are somewhat "addicted" to the computer. They are always checking their email, surfing the net for that new and exciting site, chatting with friends..etc. I mention this today because my former spouse use to be on the computer all the time, unfortunately that played a big part in the break up of our marriage. Now that he has moved on with his life he seems not to be on the computer much anymore which is hard for me to communicate with him in regards to the kids. Not that communication is the best in any mode with him in regards to the kids, but at least I have a record of it through the email. He still just "reads" into it what he wants. He has been on vacation for the last week, and I sent him an email yesterday to let him know about some of the kids stuff because he was picking them up from daycare. You would think that he would have at least checked his email when he got home. Of course he is probably to busy worrying about himself and his happiness first. Or maybe it is because he only has a dial up connection and hates getting on the computer now since he was so use to a DSL connection. That is to funny if that is the case, because people now a days hate waiting for anything. Oh well, just another day in my never ending battle of communication problems with him.

Finally back to the real world.....

Finally, I am back to the real world...lol. I spent my Thanksgiving weekend at my parents house. The bad part of that is they only have a 28.8 dial up modem....yes I said 28.8 . Needless to say it took me about a half hour just to check my email let alone try to do anything else online. I gave up after awhile. We had a busy weekend, I helped my mom decorate for Christmas, she got 2 of 3 trees up and decorated. The kids put up the stockings and nativity scenes. We had a big family Christmas gathering on Saturday, so I helped my 92yr grandmother bake 6 pies, do up a batch of dinner rolls, and helped her put the finishing touches on her house as well on Friday. Having had a heart attack about 3yrs ago, and less than 50% of her heart functioning now, she still does not quit. Her only regret on Friday was that she had to tell her church which is across the street that she could not help with a funeral dinner on Saturday because she had all her family in on that day. Mind the 6 pies that we made ended up to actually be the 13th pie she had made this week, she made 7 earlier in the week. The kids had lots of fun at the Christmas gathering, and then had lots of fun back at their grandmas house because their cousin was finally there for the evening. Nothing like entertaining 2 3yrs and a 6yr for the evening after a Christmas gathering. We all did manage to survive though.

I will leave it in the car!

As I am trying to get my kids in the car last night so I can get to the bowling alley early, my youngest who is 3 stands at the top of the stairs and says can I bring Elmo, I will leave him in the car. Fine, as long as he stays in the car. Mind you this Elmo is about as big as the 3yr. We get all loaded up and I start buckling the kids in and the youngest says can Elmo ride in the front seat, fine just get into your seat, please. Finally I get everyone buckled up and they both say "DON'T FORGET TO BUCKLE UP ELMO!" So, I buckle up Elmo. Now, I am driving through town with the kids in the back and Elmo navigating for me in the front seat, on the way to the bowling alley. The kids loved it, and we all really did have a good evening!!!

The best massage ever......

Ok, it may not have been my best massage ever, but I could not have passed on this one. Last night I was laying on my bed watching tv for a bit, while the girls were playing in the other room watching a movie. For some reason they must have realized that I was not in the room with them so they decided to hang out with me in my room. So I finally asked one of the to scratch my back, then my oldest who is 6 says "mom, would you like me to give you a massage on your back?" Ok, what the heck. Now I have a 6 and 3yr give me a "karate chop" like massage on my back" :) It was the best time we all had in a long time. She even gave me a foot massage, that was very interesting, but she did a good job of it. Yes, I might have to visit the chiropractor to re-adjust my back from the massage, but that will be worth it. The girls have been in a great mood yesterday and today, not sure why, but I will take it. We have even gotten up late in the mornings the last couple of days, and they have done great. Got dressed by themselves, brushed their teeth by themselves, and with no complaints. I some times wonder who these kids are! :)

I didn't want you to worry.....

Well, I found out last week, why the former spouse of 13yrs did not tell me he was getting married. He/she thought I would try to stop the wedding. He never really knew me during our marriage if he thought that. I think that was her feelings not his, but I never know with him anymore. I did confront him on that and he said No he did not want me to worry about the wedding. WORRY ABOUT WHAT? Him getting cold feet and not going through with it. I was the one that filed for the divorce. I was the one that kicked him out of the house after I filed. He was the one shocked that I did that, yet it did not take him long to show me that I made the right decision. So, this week I do not have to worry about him calling me and saying that he can pick up from school because he is in town and thought to himself "Hey, I could be a good dad in my daughters eyes and pick her up from school, while I am here in town". I do not have to worry about packing clothes for them to spend the night at their dads and him not spending that much time with them while they are there. I do not have to worry about him calling 15 minutes before their bedtime to talk to him because he just realized that hey I have not seen or talked to them in along time, I should call them now that all my stuff is done for the day. I do not have to worry about any of that because he is on his honeymoon. He has successfully fulfilled all of his dreams he has ever wanted, now. I do not even have to worry about the cruise ship sinking, I officially do not know that is where he is for his honeymoon, but live with a 6 and 3yr, you get more information than you care to have. :) I do not have to worry about him having safe travels during his honeymoon, either. All of this not having to worry makes my daily prayers a lot easier. Of course I do not pray for bad things to happen to him. That is not very nice, and it will not bring any delight to myself for very long if it did come true. I just sit back waiting for god to do his work on his own time line. My time line seems quicker but apparently god has a different reason for his time line, that is what is hard to wait for.

No I am not too busy!

I really should change this blog to venting about former spouse...lol. He never wanted a divorce, but never fought for anything during the divorce except how much he had to pay in child support. He never even fought for more time with the kids. I would like more time with the kids, but when he could spend more time with the kids he has more important things to do. He could take them to school in the morning after he got off of his shift at the fire station, but nope he has to go home and get ready to go hunting which he never did the 13yrs we were married, or he has to go do something with the cows that he has or she has, which he has never lived on a farm in his life. No, he is never to busy for his kids. He showed up to the preschool program this week, only because there was a reminder on the door for it when he dropped the child off that morning, otherwise he would not even have known about it. He was to busy to check the preschool calendar that I gave him. He definitely was to busy to call his parents and let them know about it, because they were not there. Luckily I sent her pics from the program. She thinks that she did not receive the message for that. She didn't I did not send one, it is not responsibility to let her know that now, it is her sons. Who is to busy for anything that does not have to do with his own enjoyment first. Sadly his children see that already. He disagrees, but time will prevail on that. I am too busy now to even try to get him to see that now. My focus is on my children and god right now. Everyone has to deal with the consequences of there actions in gods timing, hard to take when you struggle all the time because of someone else's actions. My timeline seems better than god's, but that will just not do. Has to be in god's time, he will take care of me and provide for me.

How do you feel about that?

How do you feel about that? I am getting tired of that question, lately. I found out that my former spouse and father of my 2 kids got married this weekend. I found out through my 6yr. How do you feel about that? Appearantly he was not very proud that he got married, because he told the 6yr not to tell me he got married. Like I do not know why her fingernails were painting white with some red sparkles on them. I am not happy he told the 6yr to lie to me about it though. I walked away from a marriage of 13yrs because he prefered other woman over me, the new wife being one of those women. Do I regret it. I wish I could say yes, but I can't. During those 13yrs, I never treated him with so much disrespect that he has treated me and the kids with in the last year. How do you feel about that? That is the hardest part to deal with, but I know that I do not have to answer to him anymore. I only have to walk down the path that god has planned for me, the bumps are hard to handle, but I am confident in the end it will be worth it.

HMMMM!! Makes Me Wonder?

Ever have those days that just go a little to well. My former spouse and I have been having communication difficulties lately, mainly because he has no time to sit down face to face and chat about our kids lives. Yes, there is a great invention called the telephone, except both parties actually have to be paying attention to the other side of the conversation in order for that to work. The email works great also, as long as the other party comprehends all the words on the screen in front of them. Just makes you wish for a lightning bolt to strike down at a certain location, but that would only bring pleasure to you for just a brief moment and than were will you be after that. In a rare instance this week, he called me to discuss the kids. It was not the greatest time for me, but I took time out of my busy schedule to accomadate him. It was a pleasant conversation to my surprise. I thought to my self after that call was over with, I think I am going to take advantage of this opportunity and call him back to see if he will discuss another issue, and he was in agreement with me and he was going to check on some stuff and get back with me. WOW!! What happen to the guy that didn't care about anything but himself? So, I thought I would try again on one last issue that has been a sticking point between us for a long time. Well, that went ok, there was alot of silence on his end with him trying to think of something to say in his favor, but he said he would get back to me. He finally did and pretty much agreed to everything I asked for. WOW!! Miracles really do happen. I do have to admit, that I have been praying alot for our communication to get better and that it be productive about the direction the kids should be going in, AND NOT about us in the past. I just have to keep reminding myself that everything will happen in god's timing, not ours. Patience truly is a virtue.

Introduction and Greetings!

Welcome, let me take a brief moment to tell you a little bit about me. I am a divorced mom of 2 little girls ages 6 and 3. I have been divorced for just over a year now. One of my hobbies that I have taken up is doing stain glass work, so from time to time I will post some pictues of my work. I started this blog just for something else to do as well. I dabble a little in web site design so thought I would try a blog as well just for fun. Currently my former husband and I do not speak that much to each other, so I may vent every now and then about that. Having kids involved in divorce, their mom and dad need to communicate about them every now and then. He has more important things to do for himself first. I have to put up with his actions not matching his words which at times is very difficult to put up with. I am an engineer by trade, so writing is not my strongest suit, but bare with me, that hopefully will get better as time goes on. I hope you enjoy the blog.