I know that discussing things face to face is better than putting it in writing and giving it to the other person, but if the other person is not willing to talk to you face to face they normally will read what you have to say in a letter form. Nobody really wins either way, but I glad I did write the letter, I felt a load lifted off of me when I was done with it. As much as it hurt to write about some stuff, I really did not have the anger in me when I was writing it, so I think that is a step towards progress.
As far as forgiveness for my former spouse, I think I have reached that point. I am not going to write a letter to him, that never works period. I just pray about it, and give him over to god to deal with him. I have seen him a couple of times recently at the sprouts functions for school and ballgames, and I really do not care what he does there, or who he is with. I just do my thing and be done with it. If they (wife and ex) have something they want to discuss with me and it is about the kids, I listen and give input were needed and move on my way.
2 comments:
I believe that forgiving is not in a persons nature, it is a skill. Good for you for working on it.
I have one thought as to the letter to your sister. What do you want to come from sending it to her?
From where I sit (and that is clearly far away and not in your shoes) I think that the benefit was in writing that letter, not necessarily will it be of benefit for her to get that draft.
Perhaps, in order to evoke the reaction you are looking for, you should write another letter to her. One that leads to the place you are trying to get and doesnt hash up the past as much. ( If you point out that she was wrong, she will become defensive... and may close down emotionally. If you just tip open that door, perhaps she will open it further for you to communicate.) Just my opinions!
I already sent it. It really did leave the door open for her to discuss as she wants, although I am not holding my breath on that either. When trying to talk to her face to face, that fell through she ignored me like I was not even there in the room with her. We never have talked since. We are civil to each other during the holidays and when we are at my parents, but I do not go out of my way for her anymore. I really just told her how she hurt me, and that I was really hurt that she would not talk to me about it either.
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