Fond memories that were never there......

As I was chatting with the kids about their weekend at dads, I ask them if they got to see there grandma (his mom) it has been awhile since I last new they saw her. They said no but the new wife went shopping with grandma while the kids were with me one day. For a moment my heart sank a bit, the acceptance of the new wife was hard to take for awhile. As the day went on that is all I could think about. Who asked who to go shopping? Then I realized, it really doesn't matter. She and I went shopping once in the 13yrs I was married to her son, and that is because she did not want to go to a football game that we all had tickets for so I stayed with her and we walked the mall. I actually enjoyed that time with her. But I am as much to blame for the lack of our relationship as she is. She never called to talk to me or her son for that matter. When she did call it was to see if we could come down like the next day, there was never any notice to anything she had going on. I never called her either to see if she wanted to do lunch or go shopping. Of course I hate shopping anyways, so that is probably one reason I never asked her. There just seemed to be this invisible force field between us every since we met, not sure why that is, could be because I was not very talkative that day, although I am not a talkative person around new people anyways. Could be also because I was very hung over and wearing a dress on a Sunday confined to a restaurant and forcing food into me hoping I would not have to see what I ate later on. I thought I did ok. Even through out our marriage there was never a bond between us, and now there is a bond between her and his new wife. You know what who cares, I hope for nothing for the best for him. I gave him everything I had to give in our marriage, and even after he ripped out my heart and torn it into thousands of pieces, smashed them into the ground and turned a walked away with out ever missing a beat. I would have lived with him till death do us part. But a marriage takes work and it takes 2 to make it work, and since the picture only had one person working on the marriage, it was time to move on for me. I truly am glad they like each other, that is a memory I do not really have anyways.