Well my life the past month or so has been stuck in a legal battle with my former spouse. According to the final papers he has to pay me half of the medical bills after I pay so much first. I used up my allotment back in April. I gave him the spread sheet of everything he asked a few questions said he was going to have to talk to the insurance people...blah blah blah. A month later I sent a certified letter stating what was 30 days past due, he signed for it...fine. Later I sent another certified letter and he never picked it up nor did her picked up the other 3 that I sent over the course of the summer. I asked him in person when I picked up the sprouts if he was going to reimburse me his share of the medical bills and he said yes that he was waiting to hear back from the insurance company. Which now is 2 months later. When I got back from vacation I filed a contempt of court at the court house and got a court date in August. I received an email from him a few days after I filed that said that he had heard from the insurance company. Great now I might get to see some money which is almost half way to 4 digits now. Court arrives almost 30 days after he has heard from the insurance company, no money yet, and he is a no show because he did not sign for the certified letter. Judge sets a new date, and has his papers served by sheriff. A week later I get an email saying that I am going to be getting a check for so much and that the rest he will figure up and get to me at the end of the year. I sent back the spread sheet he attached and filled in the stuff he was missing, and never mentioned anything like "that will be fine to get the rest at the end of the year." I just let the time frame go, no point in beating on it. I figured that he got his papers. A few days later I pick up my certified letter from him, actually his wife did everything, wrote the check addressed the envelope wrong. It was part of the money, and I received a little more the next week.
During this whole time he has changed the visitation schedule to his liking without discussing it with me, of which I told him I did not like that schedule but would be glad to sit down with him to work one out, and he wants other things changed, because he would have to pay for part of it now. Then another email comes wanting to know why he got served papers. Because I did not have any money from you at that time, was my response. He came back with I told you I will get you the money when I get the insurance papers back. I did not respond back, I hate getting into an email "fight" with him, he just sends it to his wife to respond, not worth my time to go there.
So, now the court date has been changed twice by his lawyer and the court because he has filed a motion to have the visitation changed and the child support lowered. Now I really have no money, and grow deeper in debt to my parents for the lawyer fees, and I am not all that confident that the child support isn't going to be lowered. At least my lawyer thinks it won't so that is a good thing I guess.
I have everything in order, have had for almost 2 months now. The new court date is on what use to be my wedding anniversary, hope that isn't a bad thing again. I will be glad when it is all over with, then maybe I can get some sleep and back to my normal life.
The sad part about this, is that most of this could be solved by just simple communication of which will never happen as long as he is married to her. I have sat down with the two of them before and tried to work some stuff out, but that just turned into her telling me how everything was my fault. Not doing that again.
6 comments:
I continue to wish that could fast forward this part of your life five years, so you would have this junk behind you.
Think of the "new" (I prefer other wife... drives my ex nuts!)wife this way... The ONLY chance/option she has is to make everything your fault. If she could see him to be at fault, this would make her have to face the fact that she is married to a creep that won't even take care of basis needs for HIS children. AND... If he will do this to one woman, he will certainly be able to do it to her now won't he? Her anger comes from fear that one day SHE will be walking in your shoes.
Keep doing what is right for your kids.
Her kids are grown and married and she even has two grandkids who I think are slightly younger than my youngest at 4yr.
I sometimes think that he treats his kids like step kids and her grandkids like his kids.
How could this possibly be your fault when she was the one who helped him break the wedding vows? Patty is right some day she will be in your shoes <----I learned this nifty little tidbit in DivorceCare. We/he will repeat the same mistakes if he doesn't own his part of the breakdown...
Just keep taking the highroad and God will honor that.
The part I meant to be "your shoes" is having been cheated on with another, being made to jump through hoops to get him to honor his court ordered agreements, (about whatever, they make them not just about children.) and wondering what she ever saw in him. In addition she will have to face the fact, that by him betraying your marriage when he had an affair with her, it only makes sense that he will betray her with another.
The part I meant to be "your shoes" is having been cheated on with another, being made to jump through hoops to get him to honor his court ordered agreements, (about whatever, they make them not just about children.) and wondering what she ever saw in him. In addition she will have to face the fact, that by him betraying your marriage when he had an affair with her, it only makes sense that he will betray her with another.
She has been in my shoes along time ago. Some day he will repeat his actions. I use to wish all the time that I could be there when he got what is coming to him, but in all honesty I really do not care to be there. What is done is done. I certainly can say that I have changed because of all of this.
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